Accidentally UnSchooling.

Home schooling has been a challenge to say the least. Some days I wonder why am I doing this? but most days I know exactly why.  Yesterday I took the kids to the library just to hang out, get some books, change the environment. And it was wonderful.  The kids mostly played but they behaved so well. I was able to look for books, read a little, and feed the baby. It was absolutely beautiful. The kids even did a library project that they had at the table, some cutting and gluing.
At the end of the library trip my daughter wanted to take out a movie, so I made a deal with her. I said "if you want the movie read me that book you are looking at." She was looking at "Happy Halloween Biscuit." She said "ok." She proceeded to read the book. She needed some help with a few words but for the most part she did it herself and she was smiling and enjoying herself. I really do not know when this happened. Now that I write about it we took a about a week and half off just to hang out with dad because he took some days of of work. looking back I see that not pushing her in her phonics lessons has helped.  Yes I helped with some of the foundation phonics but I think I may have been pushing too hard to have her reading that it may have pushed he away. I am an avid reader. I just am.  No one in my family growing up read. I just loved it. I guess I want my children to desire to read like me. But I can not go about it the regular school way.  I borrowed about twenty books from library. Hoping to spark some desire in them. My daughter always makes me laugh because I want them to be interested in one thing and she surprises me and wants the opposite.  I got many books on pumpkins and animals.  She chooses the book I got for my son on wolves.  Children are amazing and I need to step back most of the time and watch them be children.  Yes I must guide them, yes I am their teacher, but not the teacher that I grew up knowing. A new teacher, a mentor, maybe even sensei.
Accidentally unschooling is only word I have for it. Because every article i read on unschooling  seemed to me that parents were being lazy. When in fact its harder to let go. It takes more faith to let your children grow without a schedule, without the standard list telling you exactly what they need to know.
I do not know where we will head from here. I headed in to this not knowing where I would start but I did it. So I know anything is possible.  Now  just have to get my lazy but up and do something about it.